Interviewer:   Eccentricities?
Hammett:   Yes. The world is insane.

Interviewer:   Isn't that an extreme view?
Hammett:   It's an extreme world.

Interviewer:   In what way?
Hammett:   Sorry, that would give away the plot of the novel, and although I enjoy writing, my dentist doesn't do root canal work for free. You need to buy the book.

Interviewer:   Can you at least give a few hints about what you're talking about?
Hammett:   Just look around. The signs and symptoms are everywhere. Ex-congressman Traficant's hair is certainly a sign that something is amiss. It looks like a raccoon pelt that was blocked by a hatter. Most people wouldn't even buy a used car from the guy - excuse me, a pre-owned vehicle - but he got himself elected to the House of Representatives. Go figure.

Interviewer:   Any other examples?
Hammett:   The Attorney General of the United States wants to cover the statue of Lady Justice because one of her breasts is exposed. As a taxpayer, I'm not interested in funding the Attorney General's fundamentalist attitude. I think he would have made a terrific Attorney General when Ozzie and Harriet was in primetime, but as Dylan as pointed out, the times are a changin'.

Interviewer:   So you advocate sexual liberation?
Hammett:   Just because I reject one extreme doesn't mean I embrace its opposite. I'm a big fan of sex since it is, after all, the way we all find a ticket to planet earth. That doesn't mean anything goes. Extremist thinking - black/white, yes/no - that's another symptom of society's strange behavior.

Interviewer:   Exactly what caused you to write The Erotic Manifesto?
Hammett:   It was a great title.

Interviewer:   Wait a minute. You decided to write an entire novel based on three words?
Hammett:   Basically, yes. I'm not a big fan of outlines or writing seminars. Ray Bradbury, to my way of thinking, has the right idea. One should allow one's fingers to play on the keyboard. One idea suggests another, and before long, the story is writing itself. Yes, there can be a guiding star somewhere on the horizon, but an author shouldn't really tell a character what to do. I heartily recommend Bradbury's book, Zen in the Art of Writing.

Interviewer:   You said the story writes itself. Doesn't an author have to bring something of himself to the process?
Hammett:   Of course, but don't ask me to define what that "something" is, because I don't think it can be done.

Interviewer:   You make writing sound very mysterious.
Hammett:   It is. That's why I'm not a fan of "how-to" books, not that there's anything inherently wrong with them. Everyone has to start somewhere, but sooner or later, a writer has to go it on his own. He (or she) has to reach a point where he says "I think I know how to say something in a way that other people can't." Anticipating your next question - no, that's not arrogance. It's a merger of creativity and self-confidence, which is why, after a certain point, no one can tell another how to arrange words on a page.

Interviewer:   No pointers for people just starting out?
Hammett:   Read a lot and write a lot, and then try to become a vehicle for what it is that needs to be said.

Interviewer:   Like society is slightly warped?
Hammett:   Exactly! I think you've got it! The rain in Spain falls mainly on the etc.

Interviewer:   The plain?
Hammett:   No - the etc.

Interviewer:   Why did you become an writer?
Hammett:   When I was a kid, Erle Stanley Gardener, the author of the Perry Mason novels, challenged me to give him some competition in the bookstores. He died quite a while back, but I always wanted to live up to his challenge.

Interviewer:   Who are some contemporary authors that you like?
Hammett:   I like Kurt Vonnegut and Tom Robbins a great deal. I like outrageous, humorous fiction. If society is deranged, the first healthy response is to laugh at it. Most good American fiction, by the way, is derivative of Mark Twain. Hemingway said all American literature starts with Huckleberry Finn. I also like Arthur C. Clarke, although some sci-fi writers continually weave anti-religious sentiments into their stories. Fortunately, Asimov is the exception.

Interviewer:   Explain that a little more, if you don't mind.
Hammett:   There are too many sci-fi novels in which religion is regarded as an outdated concept which, in the future, will be discarded, a remnant of a superstitious population that has realized that science provides all the necessary answers. It's the same old black-and-white thinking again. Science has as many pitfalls as the nincompoops who have persecuted people in the name of God or made up ridiculous rules on how to approach the Almighty. Religion, as a matter of fact, kept science and learning alive in the Middle Ages. I agree with the novelist Walker Percy: it's a wonderful thing to be able to talk to dolphins or aliens, but it would be equally wonderful if we could communicate with the people sitting across from us at the dinner table every night.

Interviewer:   Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Hammett:   I'm an ass. Everyone in the world, in fact, is an ass. The population can be divided into two categories: those who are asses, and those who don't know they are asses. It's the ones who don't realize what they are that present the real danger. They're difficult to be around. They irritate me. They will be the undoing of the world.

Interviewer:   That sounds like Twain.
Hammett:   Exactly! You've got it! The rain in Spain falls mainly on the etc.

Interviewer:   Do you think the end of the world is near?
Hammett:   The Apocalypse has been around as long as man has. He has been busy trying to destroy himself for millennia. Nothing new about that. As I indicated above, I'm not a fundamentalist, and I don't think the Book of Revelation is a literal roadmap. But I do believe the human race needs to be careful. There are quite a few earth-crossing asteroids out there. The dinosaurs didn't fare too well with space rubble, and we might want to be careful. God might decide to start all over again.

Interviewer:   You sound like a pessimist.
Hammett:   I'm a realist. I think we could change the world tomorrow if we wanted to. Quantum physics says that everything depends on the observer. If we decide to shovel out the shit and create paradise, we can do it. There's a word I like a great deal: lovingkindness. We can treat others with kindness and respect - and stop electing people with ridiculous hair to Congress.

Interviewer:   Any other thoughts?
Hammett:   Hundreds. Many are in The Erotic Manifesto.